So let’s see, umm we’ve had quite a few ups and downs since my last post. On the up-side Evrett started preschool and loves it, Ross still enjoys his job, Ben is chatting up a storm and adds what seems like 5 words a day to his little vocabulary, and I am enjoying fall weather and some extra one-on-one time with Benett. Downs are Ben STILL wakes up by about 5:30 nearly every morning for no discernible cause, and often wakes his brother before ‘Ehvett’ is really ready to be up. This makes child 1 grumpy all day and makes child 2 need 2 naps instead of 1 even though he’s 20 months old and should be on a solid 1 nap schedule. Also the advent of preschool seems–sadly for Mommy–to have coincided with Evrett’s new argumentative stage; the child argues about EVERYTHING! It’s really quite annoying and if he wasn’t so darn cute I might give up on the whole parenthood thing completely. And of course, little Benny-jojo(yes I realize this is a sickeningly cutsie name yet I cannot help myself) imitates brother at every turn except he screams more because he cannot yet string his vocab together enough to say “NO! I DO NOT HAVE TO STOP TOUCHING THE ELECTRICAL OUTLET MOMMY!!” Therefore we are currently in a zero tolerance, many many many many time outs per day season. I do wish super nanny or Dr Phil or whoever is the current ‘it’ expert would send out tips for what to do when consistency for 5 or 6 weeks(or 8 months in Ben’s case) in a row is still not having an effect. The whole “stick to your guns, keep it consistent and they’ll learn you mean it” thing just isn’t cutting it.
I keep trying to tell myself this type of stubborn-ness is what makes little boys into men who aren’t afraid to fight for what they want but at the moment I’d be totally content with raising lilly-livered nancy boys if it just meant they’d do what I say once in awhile!!! **sigh**
At any rate, they are still adorable and seem healthy and well. And they do, generally speaking, behave well for other people when we are not around, which is nice. My Mom always said if we were ‘good’ for company and the like she figured she’d done something right. I hope she knows what she’s talking about. 🙂
As for random kiddie anecdotes I have the following:(CAUTION diaper related story to follow)
1. The other day Ben had developed a bit of diaper rash that was not going away as quickly as I liked. So one sunny afternoon I left the diaper and pants off and let him play in the backyard in just a shirt and some sunscreen figuring fresh air was good for drying it out. I came inside briefly to check something and was delayed an extra minute or 2–Evrett was still inside for some reason too or I guess he’d have told me what happened. Anyway Ben comes in the house waving his hands at me and giving me a strange look and saying nothing. Just as I’m about to grab his tiny little fingers I notice a distinctly rank odor coming from said fingers.
me: “Ben why do your hands stink like poop? Did you put your hands in your butt?”
Ben: Shakes head and says “No butt”
me: Stop to think for a minute and get disgusted all over again. “Benett!!!! Did you poop in the yard and then touch it???!!!!!” (ewww ewww ewww, and blearrrggghhh)
Ben: nodding vigorously and holding out soiled hands ” ‘Boop, touch-it. Icky?”
I will spare the clean up details except to say that I should have re-diapered him before I held his stinky little behind right against my shirt to hold his hands under the faucet and wash his hands. So a new shirt for me and the patio washed down and life moved on. Ugh. Toddlers are just un-sanitary.
Evrett is currently obsessed with being older than his brother, and sorting out what that means for the future. We have a lot of conversations like this one from the other day.
Evrett: “Mommy how old will I be when Ben is 25?”
me: “27”
Evrett: “Well how old will Ben be when I am 25?”
me: “He’ll be 23 because you’re 2 years older.”
Evrett: “Well Mommy, Mike says when I’m 25 then brother and I will be best friends but that is not actually true, because when I’m 25 I still want to be best friends with Will.”
Ohhhh, sad for baby brother but so cute that he wants to keep his current friend forever. Hope ol’ Will doesn’t get sick of him before then!!
That’s all I’ve got tonight, hope to write more soon.
Of course, I know what I’m talking about! I survived the four of you, didn’t I – including your poopy butt issues. I recall the time one of your brothers woke up in the late evening (10:30-11:00-ish) while Mom was in the tub, relaxing after a long day with the “me boys.” Said brother apparently got turned around in his half asleep state and went to my bedroom instead of the bathroom. Squatted on the floor, dumped a load, and then climbed up onto my bed and went to sleep. Or the time a friend brought her diarrhea-stricken one-year-old to a birthday dinner for one of your brothers. Plopped him into a high chair, which he promptly oozed all over. Thought your grandma was gonna lose it! Yup – been there. You, too will survive; Ben might, also. Hope the diaper rash cleared up! I seem to remember a favorite uncle whose stubbornness led him to lie down on the floor in floods of tears and stay there until he fell asleep, rather than spend 5 minutes picking up his toys so he could watch Sesame Street. The little varmints come by it naturally, I assure you!
So i know that I don’t have kids of my own, but I often find that time-outs don’t work long term, so I have to get a little more creative. One of the things we’ve started with the girls I watch is coming up with consequences that match the “crime.” I asked the girls to pick up their toys because they had company coming over. They were down there for about an hour with plenty of reminders of what they were SUPPOSED to be doing and still never actually cleaned them up. i gave them a warning that if they didn’t whoever cleans up the toys gets to keep them, so if they clean them up, then they get to clean them, but if I clean them up then I get to keep them. They looked at me funny and went along their merry way with the toys still a mess. So, the mom and I picked up all the toys that were left out and put them in trash bags and hid them in the garage. They didn’t notice for a couple of days but they started noticing that some of their favorite toys were missing. We reminded them what happened and that I had done what I said and that now they had to earn back their toys. It’s fairly subjective, but they “earn” their toys by being polite for a whole day, not peeing in their pants (we’re potty training the 2 year old), cleaning up the toys that they do have left, etc. i was talking to a friend of mine who has had trouble with her kids being absolute TERRORS with her parents when they baby-sit..so much so that the grandparents will no longer watch the kids. After many battles with the kids (who are 6 and 4) over it, she finally said that she was going to have to hire a babysitter. The kids were elated, but then Mom told them that their bad behavior made them have to get a babysitter then the kids were required to pay for that sitter. Now, I don’t think she actually made them pay for the whole thing, but they had to do lots of chores and help around the house a ton to pay their part for the sitter.
I think the key is not letting it turn into a battle of the wills, but creating “natural” consequences. Anyway, there’s my two cents. 🙂